A decent-sized hunk of my day was spent on a lichen-covered bench with a friend, watching botanical gardens visitors pass by and/or photograph each other and discussing the concept of touch: being "touched-out," yet craving touch. The differences between receiving demanding touch and nurturing touch. Bad touch vs. good touch. Touch we're expected to give, touch we're expected to receive. Touch with romantic partners, with children, with friends, with strangers. Asking for touch, refusing touch.
The two of us are preparing to lead a women's circle centered around this topic (inspired by a book she's reading and discussions among a group of friends), and it raised lots of related questions for us: is our need for touch related to the tactile stimulation that is so helpful to people with sensory processing differences? What role do pets play in this? Can you meet your need for touch without a suitable touch-donor around? Can you redirect it? How is verbal "touch" connected to physical touch? When somebody "strokes" your ego by giving you a compliment, is it an emotional equivalent to the tactile sensation of being caressed?
I find it really, really frustrating that I'm not able to find much in the way of solid data describing the tactile needs of humans. What I do find is pretty shaky or very limited in its scope (reiki, midwifery articles). I'm sure it's beastly difficult to describe these needs, as subjective as they are. How would you quantify them? How would you measure touch? How would you measure the effects of its absence?
This is, nevertheless, fascinating to me. I'm tying it together to my childhood experiences, my personal needs, my observations of the needs of my children and husband. I'm thinking about the ways we all go about meeting our needs, in functional and not-so-functional ways.
Whom do you touch each day? What kind of touch is it? What touch would you like to experience less, and what would you like to experience more? Can you ask somebody for or give somebody a kind of touch (a hug, a pat on the arm, playing with your hair, a massage, hand-holding) that pushes your comfort level a little bit? What happens when you do?
