We're in the "dumping stage," as an acquaintance of Dan's put it the other day. No child development book warns you about this, so take it from me: two-year-olds love to dump. You have a container of something? They will dump it. Organization is anathema to children this age. Or perhaps it's more that they're exploring organization through the systematic destruction of it, and then the restoration of it. Because just as two-year-olds love to make a mess, they also seem to love to clean it up. Or at least that has been my experience with my three two-year-olds.
My kids seem to get messy right as they really grasp how to clean. Xander loves to dump the markers and scribble on his face, but he also enjoys wiping himself off and putting the art supplies back in their bins. An unattended jar of peanuts is destined to end up all over the dining room floor, but I can almost always count on a young volunteer eager to use the whisk broom and dust pan.
Sometimes I find it hard to let them clean. I get pissy about the dumped food on the floor and want to clean up in silence, by myself, to get it done and have my surly moment alone. It's hard to say yes, sometimes, to the toddler who wants to "help" when his helpfulness sometimes includes several re-dumps before the dust pan finally makes it to the trash can. It's hard to say yes to the seven-year-old who wants to do laundry when it's not a convenient time for me to assist in the sorting and soaping and cycle selecting. But supporting it now, when they're eager to help, beats making it a chore, right?
Somebody told me to just wait, the helpfulness will stop. I don't know...can you un-learn how to sort laundry? If you enjoy a fresh space ready for new play, does that feeling go away?
So far, there are no regularly-assigned tasks here, and no tie between allowance and cleaning jobs. We all live here, we all share the wealth, we all make the messes, we all clean them up. Sometimes we clean up messes that aren't our own. Sometimes other people clean up after us. In the end, the house is clean, the kids feel good about volunteering, I feel good that they're learning without forcing it. I feel no need to worry about whether or not they'll be helpful as teenagers. I trust we'll make it there ok, and through it ok, and that they're on the path to becoming responsible people. Although quite possibly responsible people with an affinity for dumping art supplies.