spark

birth matters virginia video finalists

 
The top 10 videos for Birth Matters Virginia's national context have been announced!  I'm working my way through them and so far am blown away by the work these videographers have done.  Portrayals of birth in the media are so skewed, often either demonizing the medical system or scoffing at anything "natural," but his group of videos does a very powerful thing: communicate the everyday nature of birth and the need for every family to have information and support for the decisions they make - whatever those decisions may be.  I'm excited to see such a rational yet moving treatment of this subject.  No proselytization! No scare tactics! Not too ooshy-gooshy!  Even if you think you've seen it all, even if you're done adding people to your own family, give these short documentaries a look and leave your comments. 

Best of luck to all the entries! 

Birthing Plain and Simple, by Lynn King (Indiana):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAre8Ews3fk
update 8/2010: now marked private

Do You Doula? by Julie Clevidence (Ohio):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvmB96cRnaU

Doulas Make a Difference, by Marla Yeatts (Virginia):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfOBVPZg94Y

Educated Birth, by Margaret Dombrowski:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC0UZShzIHw
update 8/2010: now marked private

Home Birth/Water Birth of Judah Darwin, by Rachel Zucker (New York):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quJvDZ_Ev6M&feature=channel_page

Home Birth DIY Labor and Delivery, by Ryanne Hodson (Virginia):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=245bDnOVAxQ

It's Worth It, Kat Hickey (Indiana):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ7J8BIYa7g

Misconception, Becky Carey (Virginia):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxRmVciXy-g

Natural Born Babies (Part 1& 2 considered as one entry), Kip Hewitt (California):
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7DrP4-po5U and
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvONLKYfaIA
update 8/2010: videos have been removed by their creator

Prevent Cesarean Surgery, Ragan Cohen (California):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZy0JPtubiQ

The Nature of Natural Birth, Laura Alvarez (Wisconsin):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrIPtVEjVnc

Update 8/14/2010: Several of the links above are no longer completely functional. At least two videos have been removed by the YouTube user who originally posted them, and another two have been marked "private" by their owners. Birth advocacy often mixes private moments with public activism, and I'm grateful that these families shared their experiences, even if only for a short time. Thanks to Marci for calling my attention to these missing videos.

your choice

I deeply believe that the words we use both flow from the way we think and help to shape the way we think.  Words carry associations, and careful word choice can affect both your own state of mind as well as the impressions of those who hear or read your words.  One example of this is my choice to avoid the term delivery, a passive term which can evoke images of a woman on her back, being treated (for a non-pathological condition) by hospital staff who assist in the removal of her baby from her body, in favor of giving birth and other terms which restore agency to the mother as the main actor in the passage of her baby from her body into the world.  (Same song, second verse: an OB or midwife attended my births rather than delivering me or my children.) I have at least one friend who will heatedly argue that my word choice and hers have nothing to do with her birth.  Please note that I am not arguing that a particular person was passive because they use the word delivery to refer to birth.  I am, however, arguing that as a society, we have some baggage about birth, and that the passive and pathology-oriented language we use both reflects this and aids in reinforcing and perpetuating it. 

Another example: I avoid using the term nazi when referring to a very strict person.  The English language is full of other words I can use.  I do not need to use a word that derived from the name of the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. Using the word in this colloquial sense trivializes the atrocities committed by the Nazi party.  Casual use seems dismissive not only of its historical context, but also of the modern subject, painting the strict person as a cartoonish and unreasonable figure worthy of an eye-roll, rather than recognizing their right to a principled stance, regardless of how strongly we might disagree with it.  It paints them with a broad brush rather than addressing the particular complaint we might have about them in the moment. Again, not arguing that anybody has to agree with a fanatic, or that a fanatic isn't fanatic (although sometimes that's a matter of perspective), just that perhaps we can choose a word other than nazi, avoid offense, not trivialize anybody, and get our meaning across just as well, if not better.

A few days ago I overheard an art teacher telling a colleague that she resists use of the word awesome when referring to students because she feels strongly that the word should be used to refer to people and situations that literally inspire awe.  While I am an unrepentant awesome-spouting product of the '80s, I can see her point, and respect her linguistic opinion.  She recognizes that her words mean something, and she is making a conscious and well-reasoned choice. 

When it comes to parenting, I make a number of choices regarding how to speak both to and about my children.  How I label them and their behaviors can become a self-fulfilling prophesy as patterns form in my concept of them and as their own self-awareness is shaped.  What words - and associated ideas - do I want them to have in their own life story? How do I want to think of them now and remember them later?

Coming from this point of view, it was with great interest that I read the R-word site today.  The Special Olympics supports the idea that language and beliefs are linked, and is asking people to pledge not to use the words retard and retarded in a derogatory sense in their everyday language. I've waffled on my opinion of retarded in the past, torn between linguistic idealism and a sense that maybe sometimes people can take things too seriously, but ultimately I think I'd put the R words somewhere near nazi in their tendency to be used in ways that are dismissive both of their history and of their current referent.

Take a look, see what you think.  What's your take on the R-word?  What words and their meanings are important to you?

 

UPDATE 3/7/2012: Two beautiful new posts have brought me back to this entry. I'd like to share them with you. Please check out Tanis Miller's thoughts about her fantastic son and the "R" word, and then watch this:

happy thoughts

favorite things from the last week or so

:: cleaning out the garage with the kids while we all wear mardis gras beads :: my two year old telling me he loves me :: lamb vindaloo :: brewing and straining my tea :: the resonance of 20 women chanting aum at the beginning of yoga class :: supported hero pose :: baby elbows :: a fantastic and empowering midwife appointment :: schefflera  :: "bobbling" baby's head in utero :: really great falafel with fresh tomato and lettuce and homemade tzatziki :: werther's originals :: overnight visit from my college roommate :: baking chocolate chip cookies ::  :: new mascara :: a do-nothing dinner date at the mall with my husband :: seeing my kids treat each other with compassion :: weekly playgroup park date :: red currant candle :: planning baby books :: looking forward to reading more Neil Gaiman :: watching Bones ::

:: fresh local peaches :: my old sunflower table that I bought 14 years ago from a church thrift sale :: my older son filling his rainboots with water :: time alone in a craft store :: peaceful Panera lunch with the whole family :: chatting with my dad on his birthday :: daydreaming about winning the lottery :: the excitement of seeing a drained pond being de-mucked by tractors :: chopping veggies with my four year old :: fresh cherry tomatoes from our garden :: 10 more cucumbers :: new really really really comfy velour maternity lounge pants :: my son asking to see a birth video :: homemade sweet potato french fries :: skittery cat, skittery cat, stomp! stomp! rabbity rabbity rabbity rabbity, skittery cat, stomp! :: tea tree and cranberry scrub on my feet :: kids picking juniper berries to roll under the car :: looking forward to my birthday :: discussing baby names :: my two year old "getting it" that there's a baby in there :: new preschool classroom list and schedule :: making all the rest of my prenatal appointments in one swoop ::

name that baby

Get ready for a barrage of pregnancy-related posts.  I'm feeling all maternal and nest-AY!

Last time around, I couldn't even think of names until the third trimester.  I hit 26 weeks yesterday and found myself buying a book...The Baby Name Wizard.  Ayiyi, third child and I'm buying a baby name book?  Let's hope it helps, or kiddo will be "Whitebrownie" forever.  FYI, Jasper and Jaswinder are both on the veto list; don't even try suggesting them.

I was about to link you to several way-cool baby name resources online and just discovered that one of them is associated with that book, so it can go first.  Nymbler is a nifty site that allows you to enter names you like and get recommendations "tailored to fit your style." 

Another one that's fun to play with is the Baby Name Voyager.  Oh, wait, look, it's also owned by the Wizard author, Laura Wattenberg.  I hope Laura is cashing in bigtime on her creativity. 

One that I know for sure is not owned by Ms. Wattenberg is the Social Security Adminitration's popular baby names page.  I don't much care what the top 10 for last year were, but it's cool to be able to track the rising or falling popularity of a name over the last decade, or to look at the top 1000 for last year and see where your choices rank.  I'll admit to nixing names once they climb above about #200 and stay there. 

I should also include a shout-out for Name Nerds, which has horrible site design and needs some perking up, but still amuses me with their Name-o-Tron 3000 random name generator.   

tea alchemy

My midwife gave me a sample of a "pregnancy tonic" tea - enough to make 2 gallons - and I made my second batch last night.  For the last batch I just brewed the basic tea, which contains alfalfa, oat grass, red raspberry leaves, and stinging nettle.  You boil 2 quarts of water and steep 1 cup of the tea in that until the pot is cold (or, if you're me, overnight), then either drink it straight, or dilute it.  I diluted to 1 gallon and kept it in the fridge.  The goal is to drink a quart a day, which is something like eating four servings of leafy greens and contains the RDA of iron, vitamin C, and calcium, in addition to lots of other good stuff.

One basic recipe for the tea would be:

4 parts dried red raspberry leaf
2 parts dried nettles
2 parts dried alfalfa
4 parts dried oat straw

Red raspberry leaf contains large amounts of vitamins C and E, as well as A and B complex.  Vitamin A boosts the immune system and promotes healthy fetal skin and bone development.  Vitamin E is good for circulation.   Phosphorus and potassium are present (and help prevent leg cramps), as well as an easy-to-absorb form of calcium, which is necessary for bone health in the mother and fetus and also plays a key role in pain mediation during birth.  An alkaloid present in RRL is responsible for toning the smooth muscle of the uterus, preparing it for labor and birth, preventing hemmorrhage, and helping it to return to its original size afterward (it is also good for uterine tone to control menstrual flow).  The minerals in RRL may aid the mother's recovery from birth and her milk production.

Alfalfa contains proteins, vitamins K and C, calcium, iron, phosphorus, and chlorophyll.  It may help to prevent anemia and other vitamin deficiencies.  Vit K is important for coagulation.  Chlorophyll's benefits are not yet completely understood, but foods containing chlorophyll may help to prevent damage to DNA caused by carcinogens. 

Oat straw contains calcium and magnesium, and has traditionally been used to promote central nervous system health (it can treat insomnia, depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and possibly serve as an aphrodisiac), as well as to encourage healthy bones, skin, hair, and nails.  Its other principle constituents includ B vitamins and iron. 

Stinging nettle is also a good source of many vitamins and minerals, including carotene and vitamin C, for both of which it rivals spinach as a source.  As such, it's helpful in preventing anemia. 

That first batch was fine - tasted pretty much like normal red raspberry leaf tea, but a touch greener, probably from the alfalfa.  RRL tea generally tastes like a weak, green version of a cheap black tea.  Not bad, certainly fine for iced tea.  The tea was a pale golden-green color.  Not unappetizing (I had worried it would look like spinach water) but not terribly beautiful, either.  Good with honey, which I forgot is bitchin' hard to mix into cold tea.  Hard to make yourself want a whole quart of it every day, though.

For batch #2 I headed down to Ellwood Thompson's - my local organic market - and picked up some bulk herbs, including a little dried peppermint and some rosehips.  I thought they'd jazz it up a little, and the rosehips would add some color and a little more Vit C, too.  If you've never used rosehips before, think of Red Zinger tea, which gets most of its color, scent, and flavor from rosehips.  Set up the pot last night and strained it this morning.  I heated some water in an old congealed bottle of honey and dumped it in while diluting.  Voila - used up the old honey, pre-sweetened the tea (how very Southern of me), and I won't have to deal with cold honey + cold tea glop. 

The result is yummy, a slightly richer blend with a nicer color, thanks to the rosehips.  I may have made it a touch too sweet, but not so sweet that I can't drink it, and it's worth it not to have to stir and stir and stir the honey each time. 

homebirth/midwifery slideshow

Like Heaven Into My Hands

"...the design is perfect, so it should work ok, unless we have a complication, and that's what we need hospitals and doctors for, not for normal childbirth."

"It was a very private moment when the baby was conceived, and it should be a private moment when it's born."

pregnant pause

Somebody asked recently whether I like being pregnant, and if so, what it is that I like about it. 

I do love being pregnant, even though I hate lots of the in-the-moment stuff that's part of it. The first trimester mostly sucks, no question. But once that passes, the things I like include:

- feeling the baby move
- getting glowy
- absent-mindedly patting, rubbing, or resting my hands on my "bump"
- the 2nd trimester energy. Ok, I'm still tired, but once you've survived the first trimester, it's amazing how great the world can look and how much energy you feel like you have.
- strange cravings
- my belly getting round.  I love the shape of my body while pregnant.  It's this really womanly sexy state. My husband agrees.
- getting to wonder who this new person will be
- crazy nesting projects.  Hormones are hilarious.
- more hilarious hormones: laughing and crying uncontrollably, for no reason, sometimes at the same time. It can be really entertaining.
- 2nd trimester libido and the dreams that go with it
- how very very cool it is that I can grow a whole person from scratch
- pants without snaps or buckles.  Easy on, easy off!
- looking forward to my kids loving their sibling, and my husband bonding with his new child
- feeling connected to this really ancient thing, women creating babies and giving birth - how sad for men that they don't get to do it!
- looking forward to labor and birth.  Yes, seriously.  It rocks.
- people noticing that I'm pregnant and asking about it. Yeah, sometimes it's annoying, but most of the time it's such a nice, friendly, fun way to connect with strangers, and makes the world seem like a nicer place. I love when people share their positive stories with me, like the store clerk whose daughter is also pregnant, and who seemed so excited about it.

I'm sure there's more. There are lots of hard moments during most pregnancies, lots of discomforts, but over all, it's a really cool thing. What I've learned over three pregnancies is that it's pretty normal to hate being pregnant at 8 weeks. Goodness knows that I said "why did I do this to myself AGAIN??" countless times in the not-so-distant past.  But after that it does get much better, and can be so much fun...and the parting gift can't be beat.

the big project

A sneak peek at the enormous creative project that put me out of commission for most of the spring:

Yuppers, that's a new addition to our family, nearly halfway to his or her debut.  The exterior of the little one's abode bears the silvery marks from my two previous enormous creative projects, both of which are in later stages of development now. 

My body is doing lots of post-30 aching and complaining already, reminding me that this isn't my first time around the block.  It's a little bit depressing to think that aging can stink so much before I've even reached midlife.  Ah, well.  Hopefully prenatal yoga and baby kicks and nesting hormones will all do their part to balance out the less-fun stuff.